Monthly Archives: June 2013

I Can See Why People Kill People…

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This entry is not a singular rant. Recently, for reasons unknown, everything seems to have annoyed me. Instead of blogging about one particular issue this morning, here is a list of many things that really “grind my gears”. So, here we go…

(this should be playing the background, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETNRfcNIl2w)

  • People who leave all of their work until the last minute and still get a good mark. Despite not working hard throughout the year or for however long, these people manage to get incredible results but have often put in little, if any, hard-work. It’s just pure laziness and to be honest, rather big-headed. I don’t care if you’re Stephen Hawkins, put in the effort man!
  • Old people are falling over more. This was on the news yesterday. Apparently, the older generation are falling more and putting their health at risk. How ridiculous. Firstly, how do you prevent people from falling over? No matter what age you are anyone can fall over. As a generalisation, old people do have more falls but this has always been the case I think. They’re not as stable as younger people, their skeletal properties have deteriorated and most of them have lived through a world war. Even if we try to prevent the oldies from scraping their knees, most of them refuse help because they don’t want to “cause a fuss” or they insist they are “quite alright”. Fine, if you want to be independent and ignore my help go ahead but don’t complain about your broken hip when, and I hate to say it, I told you so. Also, the news lady said “as an ageing population…” WHAT? Human beings get older all of the time. Why is this specific population ageing?! It’s called the circle of life..GOD!
  • Conversation Toppers. Someone who always, no matter what the topic, has to chip in with their two cents. They obviously know everything and clearly know more than you do and feel the need to finish the conversation with their words of wisdom.
  • Sexualisation, naked people, excessive drinking and people having “fun”. The notion of people having a good time is constantly being shoved in my face. I don’t want to watch a TV program about a group of friends (usually with very irritating accents *cough* Geordie Shore, The Valleys *cough*) who think the aim of a night out is to have intimate relations with as many strangers as possible and to drink until you are sick. I do not want to see girls in inappropriately short skirts and ridiculously low-cut tops rubbing up against steroid-clad men in a pitch black nightclub. I do not want to see teenagers on holiday in Malaga lying in the middle of the road. So, I turn the channel over and go on my computer. OH WAIT, what greets me is a photo of “Shaniqua” sat on the toilet with a cocktail in her hand. I really, really don’t care. How is this fun? Yes, socialising is brilliant if you like the people you’re friends with of course. Being merry is a laugh. But exposing your skin to everyone in the whole of your town leaves not alot to the imagination. Can we not just sit down and have a cup of tea and watch repeats of Heartbeat on ITV3 (which by the way is on from 6am for you early risers like me).
  • Vocal gymnastics is not a sport. The amount of trills, frills and twiddly bits a singer can do does not prove that they can sing. Many of my friends are brilliant singers but they don’t feel the need to make contact with dolphins, bats and/or aliens via a super high-pitched noise which comes from their face. I agree, technical ability is shown through vocal improvisation and a singers’ range can be distinguished through this..but let’s be honest, some people are just showing off. MUTE.
  • People who agree with you “but…”. These guys lul you into a false sense of security by making you believe that your point oozes validity, but then disregard your view and acknowledge theirs as better, rendering your point as obsolete  What was the point in asking my opinion? The people who do this are usually also “conversation toppers”. They are just all-knowing and fantastic and a small group of them are slowly going to take over the world.
  • Ann Summers. Now this might be just me, but I always feel rather awkward when browsing in Ann Summers. Well, I say browsing, I mean looking at the floor and diverting my gaze from bizarre objects whilst trying not to shout “where on earth does that go?”. Accompanying my friend into this shop when we go shopping (no really, I mean my friend, not me, honest.) we seem to always attract the sales assistant. She offers her assistance and I always reply “oh no thank you, I’m just browsing”. I’m really not, I’m here against my will and I really do not want to stick that there thank you very much”.

Just to clarify…

Now obviously I love old people, my grandma makes the best mince pies and chocolate roulades. My comments are purely an exaggeration of my point of view. I have great respect for the older generation; I love tea parties and Downton Abbey for goodness sake. By jove, please refrain from thinking I’m an awful person.

First rant of June…

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This guy is Steve Brookstein. He won one of the early X-Factor competitions. Strangely he seems to have fallen off the face of the earth since his big win. How passionate he must’ve been. His triumphant success has obviously changed his life.

No blogs for awhile! I’ve been a busy little bee, pollinating the important flowers of my life…or something like that.

WELL. I’m currently watching “The Voice” on BBC1 and I’m finding my frustration levels grow more and more. Why I hear you ask? I’ll elaborate. Most of these contestants seem to be saying the same thing when their little “woe-st me, I’ve had such a hard life” VT plays out before their performance. The reoccurring theme of their heart-wrenching speeches, sorry I mean their load of codswollop, is that the amount passion and desire they have for singing should be enough to verify them wanting to win the competition.

Now, hold the phone. Since when does one’s amount of passion and desire mean that their dreams will come true?! Umm, never? This is so ridiculous it actually hurts my vital organs. If you say “winning this competition could change my life. I’ve always wanted this since I can remember. I want to win so badly,” how on earth does this justify you winning?! Your dreams will not necessarily come true just because you ooze copious amounts of passion for them. I wanted a pink pony but no matter how much I desired to have my pink pony, he never appeared (one day people, one day!).

I don’t care if winning this competition will change your life. I don’t care if you’ve had an amazing time and feel the luckiest person in the world. I don’t care if you want this so badly you’d kill your Nan’s budgie. YOUR PASSION DOES NOT MEAN YOU WILL (or should) WIN.

“I’m a shy person, but when I sing I feel so confident. I grew up with a troubled background blah blah blah blah blah”. I can asure you that a million people are in the same boat, if not a much worse situation than you my friend. GO AWAY you bafoon. By all means, continue having your passion and desire to live your dream but life is not a competition. It’s not about having the best life and living the dream so to speak; it’s about eventually accepting the notion of living an average life which is perfectly fine, rather than constantly striving to “live the dream”.