Monthly Archives: March 2013

The Second Irritation

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Josie Cunningham. Obviously boosting her confidence, not her cleavage.

Another apparently news worthy story this week is of a young girl having a breast enlargement on the NHS for what seems to be for no apparent reason *cough* vanity *cough*. Again I have no researched this story and I am purely judging my views on the ever-so-accurate media. So yes, another uninformed rant from I.

The young lady was on DayBreak yesterday morning justifying her story. Apparently, she had been flat-chested since the age of 14, which she said was medically a problem for her and her life was being inconvenienced by her situation. Therefore she had her breasts enlarged (I assume she is in her early twenties) to a rather impressive DD cup size. Now, considering she had no chest to begin with, leaping to a DD seems somewhat unnatural. One would assume she had a choice of cup size and chose DD’s for superficial reasons? If the procedure had been paid for by herself, for cosmetic purpose, I could understand her free personal choice of the chosen size. This is not the case. Surely a more natural size, like a B or a C cup, would be a more suitable choice made by the surgeon.

The girl appeared to be quite humble about her situation yet surprised by the public and media backlash. Her story also revealed that she wished to be a glamour model and Katie Price was her idol. When asked if she aspired to look like Katie, she replied that she wanted to be like her as she could provide for her children and was a good mother; her breast operation has been nothing to do with Katie Price’s image. Hmmm.

Personally, unless you are suffering with depressin or you are being physically prohibited by having a flat-chest, which I assume is not the case here, I don’t agree with this decision. I especially disagree with the size of this girl’s implants if nothing else! I believe that the NHS should offer breast surgery (to enlarge and reduce) to women who have suffered from illnesses such as cancer or the like or have debilitating medical issues as a result from there breasts.  Wanting a breast enhancement (or even reduction) for purely cosmetic and superficial reasons should be personally funded by the person wanting the procedure!

Even though the girl is partly at fault, I also have to question the motives of the NHS. Why would they allow this to happen if the reasons seem so unjustifiable. The implants will only last for ten years, meaning that in her early thirties the girl will have to go through the whole debacle again. From my point of view which may seem quite narrowminded, this whole scenario could have been so different and perhaps even avoided. Considering the current state of the NHS this just adds fuel to the big boob’d fire!

Thank you to you good person! Aaah its good to get things off your *pun* chest! HA

Irritating Things from this week

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DEADLY.

1. The banning of triangular flapjacks.

2. NHS pays for boob-job.

So this is probably considered old news now, however every time I think of this story my anger kills a small mythical woodland creature. Criminal.

From what I gather a child at a school in Canvey Island has thrown a triangular shaped flapjack at a fellow student. The consequence of this was that all flapjacks at the school must only be square or rectangular in shape as the triangular corners of said flapjack are “dangerous”

I have not fully researched this story and I don’t know the ins-and-outs but a few things immediately spring to mind. Firstly, why on earth would a food item, specifically a triangular shaped one, be considered dangerous? Choking hazards, the potential to cause third degree burns – food may cause these inconvenient happenings…but an oaty snack? Who’d have thought.

Secondly, was the child who threw the flapjack punished? Food fights were never acceptable when I was at school and we would have been in trouble with at least one the menacing dinnerladies. Technically that child should be the one considered dangerous. Maybe he/she has underlying anger issues or perhaps a troubled past?

Thirdly, in what circumstances was the flapjack thrown? An act of jollity between two friends gone horribly wrong, or a feud between two enemies that has clearly reached a new level of rage and passion? Maybe the victim deserved it. The situation is not clear and unspecified. I must admit though, kudos to anyone who could turn an innocent, baked snack into a lethal weapon which has become news worthy.

Squares and rectangles have more corners. Throw it at an angle with a certain degree of spin, surely a more violent shape with much more impact?

How was the flapjack baked? Usually, a flapjack is quite soft with an element of crumbly-ness…if over-baked and burnt the end result would be considerably more solid and the oats more compact. The manufacturer (if pre-packed) or the school cook would ultimately be at fault.

There are tonnes of things that I would have to take into consideration to even begin to fathom what really happened on that fateful day. My overall feelings are as follows: Health and Safety is just too ridiculous. Bubblewrapping children will not work. Accidents happen…if this was even an accident. Clearly the argument could not be settles through discussion so force and violence were ensued. The other kid probably deserved it anyway! If they cant’ dodge a triangular snack-attack, maybe PE lessons should be revised and self-defence classes to become mandatory.

Despite my annoyance over this scenario, it did make me smile and laugh in disbelief. But I hope my views will not offend anyone, it’s only my naive interpretation of the situation.

Good on you though my triangular-throwing-flapjack friend! Defy the system and throw a square one too! Before I leave you to ponder this story for yourselves, the velocity and speed of which the item was thrown at must have been rather forceful as I have just been informed that the victim child had to be sent to hospital for enduring a “sore eye”. Which will lead me nicely on to my next irritation this week…the NHS…

Ode to Coffee

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In the whole entire world I enjoy nothing more than the simple notion of “going for coffee”, you may even say I find the experience positively exciting. However sad this may sound, I have come to realise how vital Tea Rooms and Coffee Shops are in society…well, my society anyway.

With the endless choice of drinks available, the obscure concoctions that these talented barista magicians conjure up amazes me. Able to cope under the pressure from demanding business-folk to screaming, petulant babies and toddlers day in day out, they still manage to provide us with a life saving service. These buildings could be a place of sanctuary for a stressed out mum with too much shopping to carry or a place for a quick breakfast croissant for a businessman on the run.

Being the considerate person that I am, the only quirk that I have in my coffee order would be the use skimmed milk and only a small sprinkling of chocolate; just a delicate shake of cocoa to top my “skinny cap”, please. However, whilst enjoying my warm beverage in peace, I can’t help but overhear some rather complex drink orders. For example, a tall, soy Mocha with a sugar-free caramel shot, no foam, extra steam with no cream. Ok, perhaps that’s slightly exaggerated but these people do exist! They seem to always “take out” and to always be in a rush. If you’re ordering in such a panic, why not just have a normal Americano? Or perhaps a cup of tea? Would this not be quicker?

Personally I enjoy “drinking in”, absorbing the atmosphere of my surroundings either alone or in company. I find myself in an almost hypnotic state, watching the world and spooning the foamy goodness from my cup. While I scrape the tasty, cocoa showered milk residue with my teaspoon I have time to deliberate over a personal predicaments, current affairs and political world issues, such as “how can I prolong this experience? I’m enjoying myself far too much, is this wrong? Discuss”. Intense people watching helps delay the drinking time and I sometimes find myself rudely listening in on the drifting conversations amongst the clinking of china and roar of the steaming milk process.

Tea rooms and coffee shops provide a setting for many topics of conversation. Ranging from business meetings, friends reuniting, a quick catch up, political discussions, a much needed gossip, a first date or maybe even a break up, I believe these locations hold many secrets. Imagine if the walls had ears! They enable human beings to communicate in a social yet efficient way. By doing something “over coffee” the content of the subject being discussed, serious or not, appears more approachable and in a way less daunting.

Referring back to these picky orderers, you can also tell a lot about someone from what they drink. Order a fruit smoothie or a milkshake at a informal interview with your potential boss maybe isn’t the most sophisticated bevvy. But order a luxury hot chocolate, super-grande in size with all the calorific trimmings and extra cream when your boyfriend is explaining why it’s him that’s the problem in this relationship, not you, because you’re great, may be slightly awkward. The amount of time it takes to consume the extra whipped cream, six-hundred mini-marshmallows and two chocolate flakes may hinder your quick getaway before you burst into tears. On the contrary, the lingering taste of silky chocolate would do a great job of helping drown your sorrows.

Despite my love for cosmopolitan coffee addicts, there is nothing more endearing than a pot of tea for one in an old fashioned tea room. These little treasure coves nearly always house small, old couples drinking English Breakfast, Goldblend or maybe even a green tea whilst they butter a toasted teacake or smother clotted cream on a freshly baked strawberry jam scone. I find the Tea Room atmosphere much calmer; a place to sit quietly whilst holding a civil conversation. Even though I do love the hustle and bustle of a Coffee Shop, I tend to find contentment in a Tea Room, depending on my mood of course.I find that these places are a much more inviting place for a spot of light-lunch as opposed to the pre-packed falafel organic gluten-free mixed bean wraps found in a Coffee House. The magical baristas seem to have transformed into young, polite waitresses ready to bring you extra hot water if your pot of tea gets luke-warm.

With my growing admiration for the wizards that are the staff in said establishments and for my sheer wonderment of the customers , I will continue to enjoy my “me-time” whilst sipping on a warm mug of steaming heaven. A time of personal reflection or a simple form of escapism, hopefully someone else may share my enthusiasm about one of life’s most simple pleasures.